


The Way Back

by DelWrites



Category: EOS 10 (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Cause uhhh this season makes me emo, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 00:44:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16253144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DelWrites/pseuds/DelWrites
Summary: "Ryan was at his wits end."There's a point when pretending to be okay becomes to much. Ryan is desperate to get back home.





	The Way Back

_"I'm sorry- I have to go."_

 

Ryan was at his wits end. He was all at once imploding on himself and bursting out in frustration and pain and augh augh AUGH

"Doctor Dalias?"

"WHAT!?" Ryan snapped, and suddenly he was face to face with Urvidian, who looked offended behind the very obvious shock.

"By god, man, I was simply going to ask how everything went. I suppose if it was that terrible then I don't NEED any elaboration-"

How it went. Right. Right, the date. The date with Ben. The date Jane urged him to go on and Levi tried to prepare him for and Urvidian pretended not to care about and-

The one he walked out on earlier.

It was a nightmare. All of it- it was hell. You could call all the chaos and the accidents and the hijinks hell, but that was hyperbole, the REAL hell on EOS 10 was the way it gave Ryan this man who was in every way everything Ryan loved while also being completely another person altogether. Hell was being told that the man you didn't know you fell for was still around, only to find out it wasn't him, it was a man who wore his face but not his name and definitely not his experiences and who was so close to being right but would never fit the mold.

Ben was like looking at a picture where the colors were all shifted outside the lines, Ben was like a line of pencils where one is at an angle, Ben was a new clean version of a teddy bear you used to have as a kid, one that was worn from use and missing an ear and was perfect that way. Ryan looked at Ben and he tried so hard to find the same love and all he felt was the agony of looking through the glass and just barely missing the image of the man he really cared for.

Ryan looked away from Urvidian. "It went okay. I'm- I'm sorry, I have a lot on my mind right now, I didn't... mean to yell."

Urvidian hesitated for a moment. "Well, I am... Sorry. If it went badly. Nurse Johns and Levi will probably ambush you the moment they realize you're free."

"Yep..."

"...I'll go talk to them. The weather is lovely today, after all, and I'm sure they could use the conversation."

Ryan chuckled. "Of course... thanks, Doctor Urvidian."

With that, Urvidian was gone.

Ryan had tried so hard to adjust, he really had. But he couldn't. He wasn't fooling himself anymore, not after the disaster that was the date with Ben.

He knew what he wanted to do next. It was crazy and stupid and wouldn't end well probably, but considering how many bad things he'd survived already, it seemed like a plausible option anyway. Ryan knew the nanites were stored away somewhere, still. Even if they weren't, he knew where they came from and how to recover.

He slid back into his room, and opened his dresser.

He pulled out a gun.

Then he left.

**Author's Note:**

> EOS 10 Season 3 has made me super happy and also super sad and I have FEELINGS so I drabbled abt Ryan figuring he may be able to get back if he just kills himself like Levi and Jane killed him oof


End file.
